Colbert: Why not go all the way and make Gonzales robo-cop? (video)

Dandelion Salad

David Edwards and Muriel Kane
Raw Story
Published: Thursday August 16, 2007

With Alberto Gonzalez under fire from all sides in Washington, Stephen Colbert said Wednesday that the beleaguered attorney general’s problem is a common one to bright-but-slacking underachievers everywhere: he’s just not being challenged.

“It isn’t that the attorney general isn’t up to the job. It’s that the job hasn’t been up to him,” Colbert said. “He hasn’t been asked to work at his potential. He’s like a kid in school who isn’t challenged by the curriculum.”

And how best to reclaim Gonzalez’s frittered-away potential? Colbert suggests the AG’s new authority over death penalty cases may be enough to keep him interested–at least temporarily.

” This new power to fast-track executions, a power that used to belong solely to judges, will be a great way to keep his attention — like a shiny object. Congress gave him a great toy to play with a couple of weeks ago when they approved his new warrantless wiretapping powers. Now he can conduct investigations and proceed to executions quickly.”

“But as long as we’re making Gonzales a judge, let’s go the whole nine yards and make him an executioner as well,” Colbert continued. “He can listen in on his warrantless wiretaps, and if he hears anyone say a suspicious phrase, he can then just flip a switch and send 10,000 volts right through the phone line and fry them like a bug.”

“Why not make him robo-cop, a one-man justice system?,” deadpanned Colbert, adding that Gonzalez’s recent penchant for memory lapses may actually be a useful crime-fighting mechanism.

“Even if he executes the wrong guy, he won’t be crippled by remorse, because to feel remorse about a mistake, you have to remember the mistakes you make.”—potential

One thought on “Colbert: Why not go all the way and make Gonzales robo-cop? (video)

  1. Namiste how very true!!!!

    Oh our great Congress and Senate of the US defenders of the Constitution…Where have you been? OH yeah off on a month long Vacation!!!

    Due to our Majority led Congress who decided right before they left on vacation to sign away our bill of rights and the US Constitution which they swore to uphold we no longer have the rights we used to have. We no longer have the checks and balances to the fear of propaganda of the evil terrorist regime. Yes we can Trust our Congress and we can also trust Roberto Gonzalez with our freedom of speech and the head of the CIA they make good judgments I am sure as a court or judge might make in any civil matter or might that be considered under national security? I feel so violated!!!!

    Sorry we no longer have our civil liberties as they were given away recently,

    Vote for Kucinich is the only one who has a plan to end WTO and NAFTA and ending the war, universal health care for everyone!!!

    No More Nukes, No More Nukes, No More Nukes, No More Nukes, No More Nukes, No More Nukes,

    Namiste and peace,


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