Reflections on Modern Life or The Computer Made Me Do It by D506

by D506
Guest Writer
Dandelion Salad

My Dad used to have a phrase (Everybody’s Dad has phrases!)

Anyway, certain situations or people would evoke from my Dad the words “makes my ass tired”

I love to write

When the words flow it’s pure pleasure

It’s personal and just for me

Sometimes when the words are droppin

And all my being is pencil lead being worn down

And the words on the paper become a picture of human emotion

It’s like doing drugs


It ain’t free

and often plain ain’t even available

Being a writer would kick the shit out of being a pizza cook

I like to think I can write some pretty neat stuff sometimes

Maybe even a book

And maybe

Maybe even get paid!

But, so often words are unavailable

And anyway where do you put in your application for writer?

It really “makes my ass tired”

When was the last time you saw a T.V. without cable?

I mean a T.V. with an antenna

Remember trying to tune in a station?

Mastering numerous jiggle techniques

Working out the perfect position for the wires

Even incorporating little bits of aluminum foil

And the worst was finally getting tuned in

Physically moving away from the T.V. to sit down

And the picture would go away

That one really pissed me off

Later as I got to be a mere experienced T.V. user

I could locate the perfect spot for a corrective Fonzie Punch

Sometime though you just could not tune in Star Trek

It would get me so angry but eventually

It was just that

“my ass got tired”

And is my ass getting to be an expert at “tired”

So sometimes I’ve really got to stop and wonder




I never really liked Pac-man

But I’ve met folks nowadays who have never even seen a Pac-man machine

And yet nowadays you’ve got to a be a 7-year old to program a HOME ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM

(which I used to consider a T.V. and a V.C. R.)

Words really do fascinate me!

little scribbles that stand for things!

Even in what I’ve just written I’ve used words that are new

They don’t even follow the rules

for example

T.V. not television but teevee


And V.C.R. is not a video cassette recorder

It is a veeseeare

Oh to be a bushman

living content

Working 2 hours a day

Just getting something to eat

Not exactly extravagant living

but like a friend said

“I’d rather have nothing than settle for less”


We’ve all seen the “kill your television” bumper stickers and T-shirts


But it is hard to kick a good habit

Watching a favorite show is great fun

You can even forget your worries

Nothing wrong with entertainment

So why “kill your television?”

I do sometimes wonder where the electronic projection ends

Consider the close proximity sometimes required for old style antenna reception

We can no longer be bushmen anyway

The T.V. has already informed us of that

Everything we’d miss out on

In fact if you really think about it

The T.V. tells us we are missing out as it is

When was the last time you and your good looking friend

rove your new Lexus through scenic country

to a witty wine tasting

The T.V. even tells you how to look nice and new

What products you need to look like you are on T.V.

If you have trouble sleeping

If you just plain don’t feel good

It’s because you are not taking the right pills

I’ll admit it

I am addicted to T.V.


“It makes my ass tired”

So many things to think about

So many possibilities just out of reach

So much unsatisfaction

The addict by nature is a lonely person

Even addicts together are not interacting

Just using together

If only the T.V. could talk back

Perhaps there is hope

The T.V. has changed its name

The T.V. is now the P.C.

One thought on “Reflections on Modern Life or The Computer Made Me Do It by D506

  1. Pingback: Exclusive: “The Big Drug” By William Mac (video) « Dandelion Salad

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