Countdown: March to war with Iran + Terror + CA Fires (videos; updated)

Dandelion Salad


Part I

What? Oh no! Keith is not here tonight? Where could he be? He is on a very top secret important assignment in Boston…watching baseball. David Shuster fills in.

The drumbeat for war with Iran continues as we back them into a corner with harsher sanctions. Well, that always works well. It’s worked well with Cuba for the past fifty years hasn’t it? I mean, didn’t that Castro guy leave about ten or twenty years ago?

What can I tell you. So many of you said not too long ago, “Well, Bush only has a little over a year left. What harm can he do in that amount of time?” You may now reconsider the answer to that question.

Part 2

Hilary is having second thoughts about calling Iran’s military a terrorist organization, thus helping to give George Bush a reason to start dropping a few bombs over there as well. Seems she finds it necessary to send out an email stating why she did it. Sorry, but emails don’t work for me.

It’s obvious you were thinking of the general election and trying to woo a bunch of right wing nincimpoops who are never going to vote for you anyway.

And Barack Obama supporters can wipe that gleeful smile off of their face as well as far as I’m concerned. He’s another one trying to have his cake and eat it too by touring with a known hateful homophobe by the name of Donnie McClurkin.

So he tries to “fix it” by inviting a WHITE homosexual clergy to open the SAME tour, as if somehow that excuses it. John Avarosis of Americablog puts it well: At the same time, while Obama has said that he “strongly disagrees” with Pastor McClurkin’s comments, he will not exclude from his campaign the many Americans including many in the African American community who believe the same as Pastor McClurkin.

Great, so we’re to believe Obama would not exclude anti-Semites or racists from his campaign either? Well, would he? Someone needs to ask him that question – Senator, are you saying that you would welcome anti-Semites and racists into your campaign, even though you strongly disagree with them, because you believe in some kind of big tent of bigotry?

So besides Hilary, you can cross Obama off my list for now also. Oh, and there’s nothing about Obama in this report, but I wanted to show that instead of showing leadership where they should, both Barack and Hilary are out on the campaign trail being wishy washy. Obama couldn’t even be bothered to show up to vote on the same bill he is criticizing Hilary over, and they both HID until the last minute on the Iraq funding bill, not voting against it until the vote was decided and they could do so with impugnity. Shame on both of them.

Part 3

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy! Rudy Giuliani as you know, is campaigning on the fact that he happened to be the mayor of New York on 9/11 making him by default the world’s foremost anti-terror expert, and an expert on criticizing others about terrorism such as former President Clinton.

Uh….not so fast Rudy. As YOUR VERY OWN testimony before the 9/11 commission has shown, you pretty much have always had your head stuck up your ass in that regards, and apparently still do. Now who will protect us from Rudy’s incompetence?

Wayne Barrett joins David.

Oddball: Darth Cheney does his Rip Van Winkle impersonation, Buffalo Racing, and a woman who saved a valuable painting worth millions from the trash gets a paltry 15,000 reward.

Part 4

Okay, go out and pop the popcorn while Shrub takes his photo op tour with The Turdinator, gives out a few hugs and tries to find a way to blame the invention of fire on the Democrats.

An early law enforcement review is out on the “Don’t taze me bro” incident in Florida a few weeks ago. Yeah, we’re talking about Andrew Myer. What do I think? I think I’ll reserve judgment until he shows up on Countdown next Tuesday for an interview with Keith. so there’s something for you to look forward to.

Keeping Tabs: Britney pays up for damaging a car in a parking lot. Her and the Kev are going to anger management classes. Sarah Jessica Parker Broderick was named the unsexiest person of the year.

Part 5

Of course everybody knows Marie Osmond took a fall in that made for TV competition known as Dancing with the Stars. In other words, she fainted dead away.

So what is the cause of her fainting spell? Was it the California Fires, her asthma, a combination of the two or something else altogether. Christian Finegan joins David for the scientific and medical explanation of Marie’s collapse.

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