AG to begin American Inquisition by R J Shulman (satire)


by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post
April 29, 2008

Due To Questionable Obama Preacher Attorney General To Begin “American Inquisition”

WASHINGTON – In light of the shocking revelations by former Obama minister Jerimiah Wright, Attorney General Michael Mukasey has announced the formation of a new program to protect America. The program will be called the American Inquisition and is designed to purge the unfaithful from the flock, according to Mukasey. “With the Islamofacists at our door and phony Christians already among us,” Mukasey said, “this program should be able to detect the true believers. With our carefully selected lists of potential terrorists we got from our legal spying, we will start with a procedure called ‘the Edicts of Grace’ where we will ask, let’s say for example, Jeremiah Wright to voluntarily come forward and confess fully and freely any of his heresy. And if he should refuse,” Mukasey continued, “we have a program in place to persuade him to confess more fully and freely.”

“We feel some Americans have falsely converticated to Americanism, wearing bibles and thumping jeans,” said President Bush, “go we need to go on this crusade to separate the meat from the chaff.” “For those that are worried about the budget,” said Hank Torquemada, a senior Bush financial advisor, “we already have the equipment needed for this operation.”

“This will be a good direction for our efforts,” said Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff, “so we will direct our employees away from the time wasting duties such as trying to secure the boarders and checking out foreign cargo to go after these dangerous heretics.”

Senator John McCain has given his full support to the program. “This should help John with the Hispanic vote,” said William Rowe, a McCain campaign spokesman, “John understands how to be sensitive to the Latino culture and heritage and since the American Inquisition is directly based upon the Spanish Inquisition, his support for this new program clearly shows his support for Hispanics.”

Mukasey has tapped Vice President Dick Cheney to head up the committee to oversee the American Inquisition. “I can say, if you will,” the Vice President said from deep inside a chamber of an underground bunker, “that Barack Obama’s ridiculous claim he is a Christian and not a Muslim is in its final throes.”


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