SANTA MONICA, California – A new study by the Rand Institute shows that the reasons many Republicans support a US invasion of Iran is that they believe that two wrongs make a right. “They are not unaware the invasion of Iraq was a monumental blunder. Quite the contrary, as only a mentally challenged person would think otherwise,” said Arthur Josserand a senior researcher, “what these conservatives believe is that a second similar mistake absolves them of the first.” Josserand said, “This is the same reason why after realizing Bush was an incompetent fool, they voted for him again in 2004.”
The report cites among other findings, that Bush deliberately repeated Reagan’s disastrous “trickle down” theory of giving huge financial breaks to the ultra wealthy in hopes it would benefit the middle class. “In their minds, the second mistake made everything OK,” the report said.
“Of course, this report is right,” said CNN’s Glenn Beck, “everybody knows if you make three hard lefts, it becomes a right and so it follows that two wrongs also make a right.”
“I prescribe to that theory of wrongs making rights,” said President Bush. “Because the wronger I get, the righter I am and that means after all that I’ve done in my life, I am now the rightest person in the whole wide planet.”
“The good news about all the death and carnage I have caused,” said Dick Cheney, “Is that I get to do it all over again.”