Bush rejected as Wal-Mart greeter by R J Shulman (satire)


by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
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Robert’s blog post
May 7, 2008

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas – Wal-Mart announced today that it will reject George W. Bush’s application to become a store greeter after his term as President has expired. “We can’t afford to besmirch our good name,” said Clyde Biggins, a Wal-Mart executive, “by hiring a greeter with such a low approval rating.”

“We don’t want to have a situation where a customer comes in with a defective toaster they got at our small kitchen appliances section,” said Margie Hinckley, a Wal-Mart Manager, “only to have the greeter decide to tell this customer to make a preemptive strike on women’s lingerie. Besides, we need someone to be there at the door and not have them wander off at the drop of a hat to clear brush around the store parking lot.” “I don’t think we could accommodate his vacation schedule,” said another Wal-Mart official, “anyone else taking that much time off would be fired.”

In a related story, Dick Cheney’s bid to become a ticket taker at the Frontier Six Movie Theatre in Cheyenne, Wyoming was also rejected. “Not all of our patrons come to this theater to see a horror show,” said manager Jerry Rowland, “and they don’t need no ticket taker to give them a coronary.”

2 thoughts on “Bush rejected as Wal-Mart greeter by R J Shulman (satire)

  1. LOL! Or he can be a greeter at gas stations so that people will try to conserve gas… Or a part of the garbage collector crew so that people will try to minimize household waste.. In both ways, Bush will be helpful to the environment. LOL!

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