by R J Shulman
May 10, 2008
NEW YORK – Fox News will broadcast a documentary called President Obama: Be Afraid, Very Afraid in which they will report among other things that as President, Barack Obama will annex Kenya as a state. “We have absolute proof,” said Bill O’Reilly, “as sure as a black person says pass the M F tea, Obama made a promise to his father Barack Hussein Sr., that if he grew up to be President, he would make their home country, Kenya a state.”
“Those people will all be on welfare,” said Brit Hume of Fox News, “and the last thing we need is US tax dollars going to waste to the President’s buddies in some foreign place that has no real connection to the American people.” Not everyone thinks Kenyan statehood is a bad idea. President Bush said, “I don’t have that much trouble with making Kanye West a state because we should make them citizens over there, so we don’t have to make them citizens over here.” Cliff Hargus, a senior GOP strategist agreed said that it could be an advantage to the Republican Party to have Kenya as a state because there are more elephants there than donkeys.
Senator McCain said, “Before I can make a comment on this Nigeria question, I will have to research the issue and then do what Dick Cheney wants me to do.” When it was pointed out to him by Senator Lieberman that Obama’s father was from Kenya and not Nigeria, McCain said he didn’t know much about geography. Senator Clinton said at first she thought it was a good idea to authorize Kenyan statehood, but is now strongly against it. Senator Obama said he was not there when he supposedly said the he wanted to annex Kenya and this was the first he had heard of it.
The Fox documentary which is scheduled to air right before the next Democratic primary, will also report that an Obama Presidency will mean that no white people will be allowed in the White House, especially when they are filming Flavor of Love 4 with Flavor Flav in the Oval office, that Obama will replace the July fourth holiday with James Brown day, and that worst of all, the media will be forced to stop spreading hateful innuendos and be required to report real news.