Bush says he’s run a half-glassed Presidency (satire)

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer

Robert’s blog post
May 18, 2008

NEW YORK – In an exclusive interview with Fox’s Sean Hannity, President Bush said that he has adhered to a positive philosophy which has shaped his Presidency. “Some people are optomicalists,” Bush told Hannity, “and some are poussumists, you know, who say the glass is half emptied. Now, me, I always think it’s half filled up. I am a half-glassed guy who has run a half-glassed Presidency. My phosophical approach is why bother to do something at all if you can’t do it half-glassed?”

The President continued,” I always look at the sunny side of the boulevard first and if there are no terrorists there then I bomb the other side of the road. What I don’t understand are all those negatory people,” Bush continued. “They say the economy is bad, Katrina is bad, losing jobs, houses and Constitutional rights is bad. They are just bad-saying America. Me, when something goes not right, I just have daddy or the Supreme Court fix it. Now why can’t these complainers do that? But they don’t, they just blamicate me for their trouble. I just ignore the people,” concluded Bush, “that wrongly accuse me of not caring about them.”