Bush seeks international aid to come up with reason to bomb Iran (satire)


by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer

Robert’s blog post
May 22, 2008

WASHINGTON – Not usually one to call on the international community for help, President Bush has asked world leaders to help him solve the problem of finding a plausible reason to attack Iran. “I used up so many war reasons for when I shock and awed Iraq,” Bush said, ‘that I’ll need a whole new set of good ones for shock and awing Iran.”

“The President wants to show he is a uniter and not a divider,” said Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino, “so he is bringing together a coalition of the willing to bomb Iran.” “We can’t say Saddam Hussein is now in Iran plotting against us,’ said Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, “because most Americans know he is dead, no matter how much Fox News might repeat over and over again that Hussein has reappeared, this time as an Iranian threat. 9-11 doesn’t pack the fear punch it used to and I fear that Americans don’t really care if democracy invades Iran.”

“Americans love war presidents,” Bush said, “sos I needicate fresh reasons for a new war so they can forget about the last one. Also,” Bush added, “I get to dress up on a big boat and say ‘mission accomplished all over again.'”

Many political analysts speculate that Bush will not be able to come up with a reason to attack Iran before the end of his term next January and may be forced to invade without justification. Chris Matthews of MSNBC asked Vice President Dick Cheney about the problem of the ethics and morals of an unjustified preemptive attack on Iran. Cheney replied, “So?”


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