Fox News: Obama’s dog hates America (satire)

Satire

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post
June 16, 2008

CHICAGO – Fox News reported that Senator Barack Obama’s dog, Bark, a German Shepard hates America. “That dog took a dump right in front of my American flag,” said William Boykin, Obama’s neighbor. “There is no question Obama’s dog peed on a tire of an SUV with a ‘support our troops sticker,” said Fox’s Bill O’Reilly.

Fox reported further proof of Obama’s wayward dog from one-time Obama dog sitter Claudia Hammack, who said, “Bark was so bitter and elite that he wouldn’t wag his tail at me if I was wearing a flag lapel pin.” “What I don’t understand,” said Fox’s Sean Hannity, “is how Obama can have a dog for years and not know how hateful that dog is toward America. Obama saying he wasn’t there when that dog started all that anti-American yapping is just no excuse.”

“I don’t even have a dog,” Obama told reporters who were hounding him on the dog question. Senator John Boehner of Ohio called for a special prosecutor to investigate Obama’s dog. “We shouldn’t let ‘doggate’ get swept under the rug,” Boehner said. “We have only begun to scratch the surface in this matter.

“We don’t expect Obama to roll over on this one like Kerry did on those swift boat attacks,” said Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean.

“I don’t even have a dog,” Obama said.

“I think the press will chew Obama up on this dog debacle,” said Brit Hume of Fox News. “How could Obama be so un-American to have a German Shepard instead of a good old dog from the USA,” said Rush Limbaugh. “Just how much does Barack really hate America?

“I don’t even have a dog” said Barack Obama.