Bush Urges Congress To Pass Bill Encouraging Americans To Drill For Oil In Their Own Back Yard + vid

Updated: added video

Satire

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
June 19, 2008

WASHINGTON – As a reaction to the rising cost of gasoline, President Bush urged Congress to pass his Protect Earth Bill, better known as the No Dinosaur Left Behind Act, which gives tax incentives to anyone who drills for oil in their back yard. “We need all Americans to throw their hand in the ring to help the energy crisis,” the President said, “so I’m not only de-banning the Democrat ban on oil expatriation that we need to have, but give a tax break to anyone who becomes their own backyard wildcatter.”

To qualify for the tax incentive, a person would have to purchase special drilling equipment from Halliburton who won a no-bid contract to provide the necessary equipment.

“Would you rather we drill over there,” said Vice President Dick Cheney, “or drill over here?”

“This is a bold and necessary move by the President,” said White House Press Secretary Dana Perino, “Americans must pitch in to suck our country dry first before we have to use foreign oil, just like the President sucked our treasury dry before we needed all these foreign investments to keep us going.”

“I expect those whining, wimpy, weak-kneed name-calling Democrat traitors will try and block the President because they care more about eco-systems than about using American oil. That’s simply unpatriotic,” said Senator Boehner of Ohio.

Senator Barack Obama stated he is against more drilling. Senator McCain said he strongly supports unrestricted drilling. “At first I was against the drilling,” McCain said, “but now I’m for it. Besides, when it comes to drilling, I can do it in a more manly, less bitter way than Barack Obama even if we have to drill for a hundred years before we find anything.”

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Bush wants offshore oil and gas drilling

TheRealNews

President calls for lifting 27-year moratorium on offshore drilling

June 19 – President George W. Bush called on Congress to lift its 27-year moratorium on offshore oil and gas drilling saying the only way to lower gas prices was by the nation producing more oil.   Bush announced that, “Congress must face a hard reality, unless members are willing to accept gas prices at today’s painful levels or even higher, our nation must produce more oil and we must start now.”  This echoes Republican presidential candidate John McCain’s call to open the Continental Shelf for oil exploration.

Congressional Democrats were quick to reject the call for lifting the drilling moratorium, stating that oil companies already have 68 million acres of offshore waters under lease that are not being developed. West Virginia Democrat Nick Rahall stated, “You cannot drill ourselves to lower gas prices.  The amount of lands that are open, the amount of permits that have been issued have all increased over recent years yet so has the price of gas.  There is no correlation between opening up more pristine areas and lowering the price of gas.”

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama also rejected lifting the drilling moratorium that has been supported by a succession of presidents for nearly two decades. There are two prohibitions on offshore drilling, one imposed by Congress and another by executive order signed by George H.W. Bush, Bush’s father, in 1990.  His brother, Jeb Bush, fiercely opposed offshore drilling when he was governor of Florida.

Massachusetts Democrat Edward Markey told the public, “President Bush and Dick Cheney have turned the GOP into the Gas and Oil Party.  That is the legacy that they are going to leave.”

see

Bush’s Speech on Offshore Oil Drilling by Shelley Bluejay Pierce (+ video)

2 thoughts on “Bush Urges Congress To Pass Bill Encouraging Americans To Drill For Oil In Their Own Back Yard + vid

  1. Pingback: McCain Busted in MO for Oil Money Donations (video) « Dandelion Salad

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