WASHINGTON – President Bush announced today that due to the short length of his remaining Presidency, he will have time to invade only one more country. “Deciding which place to invade next is hard, hard work,” said Bush, “even for the Decider. On one hand, North Korea has them nukular weapons, so I could invade Singapore, but on the other glove, Iran has them terrorists, so maybe I should invade Syria. Just what’s a decider to do?”
“The President is making bold plans to protect the United States,” said Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, “by making a surprise attack on a country near the intended target, like how going into Iraq thoroughly confused Al Qaeda in Afghanistan and Pakistan.” Right now Las Vegas has 5-2 odds that it will be Syria, but surprisingly has 20-1 odds that Bush’s next invasion will be the state of Nevada because of all the liberal terrorist supporting gay married people in nearby California.
“So many countries to invade, but so little time,” lamented on Bush aide. John McCain has pledged to continue invading countries if elected, but is not sure whether to go after the Sunis or Shia, but will do so, “as soon as I can tell them buggers apart,” he told reporters.