July 14, 2008
WASHINGTON – It was announced today by the real President, Dick Cheney that George W. Bush will get to throw out the first bomb in the 79th annual Invasion Classic. “It was a toss up,” said Cheney, “between Bush and McCain. McCain was the dark horse, but his singing of ‘Bomb, bomb, bomb Iran’ made this one close. In the end, George showed an unwavering dedication to mayhem and an uncanny ability to not take responsibility if anything should go wrong.”
“I am honored and humbled if I were someone who could be humbled,” Bush said, “to be able to throw out the first bomb for the invasions of Afghanistan, Iraq and now Iran. This certainly makes up for the only mistake I may have made in my life, trading Sammy Sosa to the Cubs.”
Senator Barack Obama has been roundly criticized for saying he never supported this Invasion Game, most attacking him as anti-American. McCain has said that he supports the Game even if it lasts for 100 innings. The Invasion Game is scheduled sometime before the next election, probably as an October Surprise.