On Being Indicted For Lying About Receiving Gifts, Senator Stevens Says: I Thought We Legalized Bribes

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 29, 2008

WASHINGTON – Longtime Republican Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska was indicted today for failing to disclose that he received gifts worth $250,000 from an energy company on whose behalf he intervened in Congress. Steven said he was surprised by the indictment saying, “I was sure we made it legal for those of us in Congress to take gifts and money from people we wanted to help out with our votes.”

Stevens is accused of lying on his Senate disclosure form by failing to disclose that he had received over $250,000 in gifts and services from Veco, an Alaskan oil company. Most of the gifts were in the form of renovations to Stevens home.

Senator John Warner, a Virginia Republican said, “Stevens is a true American who wanted to help the oil company which could help with our energy crisis. What’s wrong with that?”

“If Stevens loses his ability to vote in Congress, it will be a big disaster for the bridge construction industry,” said Wayne Strong, of KBR Construction. Strong was referring to Stevens’ support of a $400 million dollar bridge to Gavinia Island in Alaska, a project that became known as the “Bridge to Nowhere.”

At first, Stevens denied that there were any improvements in his home by saying all he noticed that it looked a little cleaner. However, he finally admitted there was extensive work done which was paid for by Veco. Stevens, who is 84 years-old, is the oldest Republican in the Senate. “We are losing our American Values,” Stevens said, “just how socialist have we become when you can’t even take a fair and square bribe?”

see

YOU ARE Qualified to Run for Congress (video)

NOW: Oil, Politics and Bribes (video)

CREW Releases Third Annual Most Corrupt Members Of Congress Report

Olbermann: FBI & IRS Raid Home of Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) (video)

FBI & IRS Raid Home of Sen. Ted Stevens (video)

TPMtv: Rep. Don Young’s Plot Against the Constitution (video)

Bill Moyers Journal: Why Earmarks Matter by Ryan Alexander