Selecting The Best Pig by Guadamour


by Guadamour
featured writer
Dandelion Salad
Guadamour’s blog post
Sept. 26, 2008

The old white-hair hog addresses the assembled sheep milling around grazing the credit of grass until there is absolutely nothing left; the cattle contentedly chew their cud not realizing that nothing green is left; the roosters and hens strut around, puffing up their chests, feeling self important and promising to turn out in mass for this most important of elections in November.  Everyone knows it’s going to be an historic election and at least a trillion dollar bailout.

“Vote for me.  I have years of experience. I know what’s best for the country. I have represented you well and I firmly believe that through deregulation you will be allowed to make decisions for yourselves.  Smart and intelligent decisions.   Don’t be fooled by people promising you more laws and regulations, taking way your rights, the ability for you to go where you want and do what you want.”

Everyone applauds.  After all, it is the only polite thing to do.  He goes back and starts feeding at the trough, having developed an insatiable appetite.

The dark young thin athletic hog with short curly hair and a wonderfully learned and intelligent voice says, “Vote for me.  I represent change. I am not of the old school.  I don’t run with the pac.  I am from a broken home and I have suffered as most of you have suffer.  I only advanced because of the opportunities this great country has offered me.”    Inwardly he smiles to himself when he says this, knowing that he has written and revised his history to suit his needs, that he has always loved creative writing and excelled at it.

The assembled crowd goes wild.  This hog has charisma.

The old hog watches this.  He doesn’t worry.  His progenity will be supervising and running the elections.

The young dark hog is hungry.  He joins the old hog at the trough.  The old hog smiles at him knowingly.

As they stand there gorging themselves a number of small pigs come up and try to eat, but these two run them off.   They don’t want to share with intellectual pigs, academic pigs, pigs that can actually think, pigs that still believe in the constitution.   The assembled flocks and herds might realize that these little pigs are telling the truth.

The two big hogs smile at one another while feeding at the trough, fully understanding that all animals are created equal, but some of them are created much more equal than others.   They both learned that from George Orwell a long time ago.


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