McCain Considering Conceding Election Soon by Joel S. Hirschhorn (satire)

by Joel S. Hirschhorn
featured writer
Dandelion Salad
October 7, 2008

In highly secret discussions John McCain is seeking feedback on the bold, historically unique idea of conceding the presidential election BEFORE Election Day!

Here are the main discussion points framing the conversations with his closest, long-time supporters, including his wife, but not current campaign staff.

First is the argument that taking this move would boldly prove McCain’s goal of always putting the nation first.  This is the way for him to achieve a lasting legacy as a true American patriot.  Why keep fighting and giving the media the horse race story when shortly it will be crystal clear to everyone that Barack Obama has taken an irreversible advantage and will surely win the necessary Electoral College votes?

Second, the money advantage of Obama simply puts him at an unbeatable advantage, and making his campaign go very, very negative against Obama personally is really making his stomach turn nasty.  He admits he and his advisors have no solid new things to say about the economy meltdown that can advance his campaign.

Third, McCain has confided that his health is not the best and that he is facing increasing pressure to reveal his entire health history records to the media, which he has steadfastly refused to do.  Once the truth is know that he faces much higher risks than he had previously admitted his selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate, that he first rationalized, takes on new and disastrous qualities.  He also feels physically and mentally exhausted from campaigning and knows that it has adversely impacted his day-to-day tactical decisions for the campaign.

Fourth, McCain feels strong anger towards the Republican Party that he believes has let him and the nation down.  In particular, he is angry at Republican members of Congress that he feels screwed up his attempt to look like a hero in the recent initial decision on the $700 billion rescue legislation.  He feels he was forced to support the final bill even though it contained pork spending that he has consistently wailed against, making him look like a hypocrite.

Fifth, this is the ultimate and final way for him to show the nation what a true maverick he really is and that his talk of bipartisanship has been totally honest.  He will tell the nation that he stands ready to assist President Barack Obama in any way either as a part of his administration or as a senator.  He would enjoy being Secretary of Defense.

You ask how I know about these secret discussions.  They came to me in what I can only interpret to be divine intervention one day as I was taking my daily walk.  At first I thought maybe it was a “what if” stream of consciousness.  But then I realized I had somehow accessed the real thing in some inexplicable telepathic way.  And I surely had a responsibility to share all this with you.

[Joel S. Hirschhorn is a co-founder of Friends of the Article V Convention.  Contact Joel S. Hirschhorn through]


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11 thoughts on “McCain Considering Conceding Election Soon by Joel S. Hirschhorn (satire)

  1. At first sight I thought this was a strange post–at least the bit about it’s being some kind of revelation. But after watching the debate tonight and e-mailing some friends that “McCain is toast,” I began to think the same thing. Why not just concede? It was admirable that McCain did not follow Palin in throwing dirt, so he does have a sense of decency. So maybe Joel and I are tuned into the same wave-length.

  2. LOL, except that would be crowning Obama king. You’re supposed to go through the motions.

    But this idea that McBomb is already lost is far from fixated in my mind. I still know from past atrocities that the USA is a warmongering nation of gun-mongering fanatical fundaMentalist miscreants, and generally vile rascists to boot.

    Everything McBomb believes in, this nation espouses., en-masse, in megachurch stadium superbowl style. Let’s see what they really do in that booth, in private, when they can safely ADMIT they are warmongering rascists uber alles.

    Hope I am wrong, and I will be the first to admit it. But if there’s anything the story of this land has taught us, McBomb will win.

  3. how’s about him issuing a national apology and giving a committment to serve a full month as a community orgnanizer as penance for inflicting sarah palin on us?

  4. Hi Carol, I wouldn’t count on a whole lot of change with an Obama administration. He’s only slightly better than McCain; has pondered reinstating the draft and wants to escalate the war in Afghanistan, possibly Pakistan, too.

    Both sides have their own “cult” like followers.

    To quote Joel Hirschhorn, we have a “delusional democracy”.

  5. That would be a great idea, but I doubt he would do that……he can’t be seen as backing down… would that look with his BIG HERO persona????
    I prefer to see Barack Obama win by a landslide in Nov
    and then we’ll see real change in this country.
    Everytime McPalin open their vicious mouths and spew forth this crap it turns people off more and more
    apart from the “CULT” like followers of course.


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