Hey, I’m just working off the front page of Thursday’s New York Times online. “House Passes Heavy Tax on Bonuses at Rescued Firms,” like those animals need it instead of a jail cell. “Fed’s Move Still Shaking Up Markets” — I would think so, a trillion in government bonds bought with freshly printed money, driving the bonds price up and the dollar down and the Dow down 85 points in spite of it all. Not to mention, “New Jobless Claims Fall More Than Expected.” Nice. And the Op-Ed: “A Prison of Words — Are President Obama’s new detainee policies really different from those of his predecessor?” Well, no, not really, not so far. It would seem we put a new picture in the presidential frame, but the frame’s the same. Is that the game?
In fact, it seems the more things are said to change the more they stay the same: inflation, deflation, unemployment, rendition of detainees, torturer redux, Blackwater re-upped by the Pentagon despite Iraq saying no dice. And Chris Bollyn, the Internet writer living in exile for fear of his life, writes that the Bernie Madoff loot was largely money-laundered by dirty New York banks to Israel over the past 10 to 20 years. No peace for the weary, folks.
Then we have “House Passes Expansion of Programs for Service” (like why does Obama want an army of 18 to 25 year olds at home) which will have the strength and force of the US Military abroad? Is this in case we gentle people would begin to riot, bro? Over things like “Taxes Not Seen as Making the Rich Flee” after Mayor Bloomberg’s mantra was that they will leave, they don’t have money; they lost it all in the market. You’ll scare them away if you tax the rich more. Really. And where will they go? To Bangladesh for the holidays?
And so on. “One Third of US Bird Species Endangered.” Aw, crap. And “Nazi Guard Deported to Austria.” I guess they never forget one of their own. And “US Plans Vastly Expanded Afghan Security Force.” Hey, what happened to getting out of Iraq? We’re not only still there until who knows when, but now we’re expanding our joint in the land of no return, at least not victoriously (ask Alexander the Great, Great Britain and the Soviet Union). So, who’s steering the ship here? Obama or his demonic anti-communist advisor Zbigniew Brezinski? Rhetorical question.
Is it still the new old same old gang, the Bilderbergers, Wall Streeters, Texas Oil Boyz, Bribe-takers (“Aides to Hevesi — former NY Comptroller — Indicted in Kickback Scheme”)? It seems the two top investing guys were getting millions to invest NY billions with the likes of the Carlyle Group, Pequot Capital and HM Capital, formerly Hicks, Muse, Tate & Furst, and many more. This while “Workers Protest Across France.” Anybody protesting here? About anything? I’ve just given you four paragraphs of reasons. But I guess everybody’s locked in. The weekend was coming. Lots of sports, Net Flicks, Domino’s deliveries. Hunkering down in the bunker as the old Deeeeee-pression lurks our way.
Is that depression with a small d or the Depression with a capital D? Or both? How we doing? Not so good? “Has The Economy Hit Bottom Yet?” You’re asking me? No. There. Yes. Better? What is bottom? We’re buying prosperity with Fed and Treasury debt. You tell me. But they tell us once they get all the subprime caca off the books, there’s no place to go but up, well, a little inflation, but they’ll try to watch it. Right, like they watched collateralizing the caca into stocks and bonds and put some lipstick on them and floated them downstream so nobody would recognize the slime. Oh well, how about a good movie. Really. How about a good movie, like our outsourced Academy Award winner, Slumdog Millionaire, which we will all be (Slumdogs that is and one or two millionaires) soon if the vortex of India’s darkness sucks up any more of our IT and smart jobs. A million of them are gone and Bollywood’s boxing out Hollywood.
How we doin’? Well “Soldiers Accounts of Gaza Killings Raise Furor In Israel,” meaning published accounts from Israeli soldiers about the killing of Palestinian civilians claimed it was kind of brutal and random, not squeaky clean like the government claims. Hey, speaking of that, did I hear Obama was signing off on a $30 billion, 10-year deal to pay for Israeli arms? And are they still thinking of bombing Iran? Gee, there’s so many things to think about there’s hardly time to have a life. I mean like nature’s life.
Friday was the beginning of spring. Those old trees are going to be blooming soon, flowers, grass and young girls’ attentions turning to what the boys have been thinking about all year round. Or is it the other way around? But yes, some life would be nice. It’s been a long winter, especially in Chicago, all that snow, cold, ice, and they lost Obama. And Mrs. Obama, did she loose that $300,000 a year job in the hospital just because they had to go to Washington? I actually read that in the New York Post, Rupert Murdoch’s rag.
Oh well, that’s how it is. Easy come, easy go. But getting back to life? How are you and your squeeze doing? Don’t let this all get to you. I mean be aware of it. But after all, it’s just business as usual. “North Korea Said to Detain US Reporters.” Probably sticking their noses where they don’t belong. But the “US to Aid Auto Industry With $5 Billion for Suppliers,” that is, we’re fronting the money for parts for the Big Three. So things are looking up, or over their shoulder, or “Countries Say Warming Imperils Polar Bears.” What else is new? I know. Greenland is melting. The icepacks are moving towards the ocean. The snow is melting in the mountains of Peru. Lima survives on that water. But you can pick up a duplex in Panama City for only $450,000. Act now.
Look, it all comes down to attitude, that or life and death. “G.E. says its finance unit can weather the storm.” So there! But the “City Hospital System Cut 400 Jobs.” You just gotta wake up in the morning and say, hey, thank god, I’m alive, that is, if you believe in god. If not, just say I’m happy to be alive. My family is okay. Is it okay? There’s plenty of things to be thankful for. Viagra, Lipitor, Prozac, Pfizer buying Wyeth.
The birds are singing outside. They’re jack-hammering the streets at 7 a.m. again. And the garbage trucks are right behind them. C’mon, get out of bed. Have some coffee, a soft-boiled egg, some high-fiber cereal. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave. So what if it resembles Germany after the Reichstag fire? It’s only a quirk of history. Okay, 9/11 may have been an inside job, too.
Look, if you’re going to keep bringing up these things, nobody, like nobody is going to read these columns you write, get that? I mean people have to go to work, if they have a job; come home, if they still own their house, and have time for TV. And, yes, the family. Okay, so y’all take care. Like I said, spring is here. “An Iranian Blogger Died in Prison.” And I have a facsimile cardinal by my computer that my son gave me for Valentine’s Day. He knows I love birds. This cardinal is made from Buri Palm tree, twisted onto a wire, the final product a brush hand cut into the bird’s shape. It’s made from all natural materials, eyes, ears, nose, feet are seeds, pods, with a carved wooden pedestal.
Okay, so it came from the Philippines, I know. And, of late, there have been 900 extrajudicial killings, and 189 disappearances linked to the military’s counterinsurgency plan of President Gloria Macapaga-Arroya. All right, life’s not perfect, but the cardinal is. Just remember that. Okay? Forget about the rest. Listen for the birds. Look at the beautiful little kids in the playgrounds on Riverside Drive or wherever you live. And just watch life go on, no matter what happens, like some beautiful stream in the woods. And just remember, Woody Allen is still making funny movies. So it’s still all right to laugh. Have a nice day, please. It’s important, no matter what, to have nice days. And don’t, no matter what, shoot the messenger.