Ideologues on the Supreme Court Rollback Democracy by Sean Fenley (satire) + Justice Alito Has Some Things He’d Like to Say…

by Sean Fenley
Dandelion Salad
The Anything and Everything
February 3, 2010

Today in a stunning 5-4 decision, the forces of truth, justice, democracy, and the American way were rolled back by Tony “The Fixer” Scalia, Clarence Thomas, Samuel “Unitary Executive” Alito, Anthony Kennedy and Chief ‘Justice’ John Roberts. They said that it was consequential to rollback democracy at this critical point in human history, because we don’t want people getting all full of themselves, and we don’t want their heads getting heavy filled up with a bunch of incendiary ideas, like that they actually control their own government! That was an idea that’s had it’s day in the sun, so to speak (it’s had its fifteen minutes!), but now it’s time for that notion to honorably set itself aside, and let other political philosophies share this nation’s political arena for awhile!

Tony “The Fixer” made it clear he was dead-set against democracy from the day that he donned his shiny black pajamas, and that he would do everything that he could during the entirety of his tenure on the Supreme Court to make sure that the transnational corporations and the oligarchy continued to control the United States Federal Government. Clarence Thomas stated, “I’ve just been going with the flow [and the Federalist Society] since the first day that I’ve been appointed here, so why would this decision be any different from any of the others!!?” Thomas elaborated on the previous comment in saying, “I just get my marching orders bright and early, right around 6am, each and every morning! I have a cup a Joe, read the morning paper, and I consummate them [the orders from the PTB] with military precision!”

Sammy Alito, affixed a wry smile to his countenance, and said, “Anything that the president can’t do [which is practically nothing] should be given over to the forces of light and liberty that can only come from some of the most rapacious entities in the world!” Alito continued his bizarro comments, saying, “Now was the apropos time to roll back 100 years of near universally recognized precedent, because if we hadn’t made today’s historic decision, people would persist in thinking that inalienable powers bestowed upon them by the Lord in Heaven above, could not be abraded! It’s funny that way, we are perhaps the only body that is superior to his divine grace’s celestial imperatives, at least, that I’m at all aware of.” Tony Scalia, never one to be considered the shrinking violet had this to say about the future direction of the highest court in the country, “This is really a Scalia decision, on a Tony Scalia judiciary, we had to put that pretty boy Roberts up there as a figurehead, but the corporatocracy and the Busheviks really know who’s at the helm of this sinking vessel [headed for an iceberg]!”

Anthony Kennedy, who was expected to be a swing vote on the court, but has proven to be a loyal neo-fascist, had this to say about today’s preeminent decision, “You either do things at 100% or they’re not worth doing at all/whatsoever! That’s what I figured out since the time that my former colleague Sandra Day O’Connor left this body. You know I’m absolutely, completely, and totally committed to ruling the United States of America for some of the most avaricious, loathsome, and cold-hearted entities, I hesitate to even call them that, that have ever set their flabby digits down on this illustrious planet! Of course, corporations don’t even have flabby digits, but we’re doing our level best to change all of that!” Supreme Court analysts were predicting further similar rulings from Tony’s court, and Tony was not only talking about ‘his’ Supreme Court and ‘his’ Constitution after this historic monumental victory; but Tony had worked himself all up into a tizzy, about opening up a chain of pizzeria’s brandishing his moniker and an artist’s representation of his beatific likeness.

The story above is a satire or parody, it is entirely fictitious.

Sean Fenley is an independent progressive, blogger, and freelance writer. He has been published by such websites as,, and, among other online journals and publications. He would like to see the end the dictatorial duopoly of the so-called two-party, adversarial system. He would also like to see some sanity brought to the creation and implementation of current and future U.S. military, economic, foreign, and domestic policies. If you’d like to reach him, you can contact him via email at: Visit his blog, The Anything and Everything.


[DS added the video]

Justice Samuel Alito Has Some Things He’d Like to Say…

February 03, 2010 In the aftermath of Citizens United v. FEC, PFAW looks at the cases in which Justice Samuel Alito has also said “not true.”


The 28th Amendment – Donna Edwards Introduces Constitutional Amendment to Undo SCOTUS Ruling

7 thoughts on “Ideologues on the Supreme Court Rollback Democracy by Sean Fenley (satire) + Justice Alito Has Some Things He’d Like to Say…

  1. Pingback: Debunking Corporate Free Speech « Dandelion Salad

  2. Pingback: The Corporate Takeover of U.S. Democracy by Noam Chomsky « Dandelion Salad

  3. On this one I would have to disagree with you. Initially I was appaled as well, but only because I despise the abuses and potential abuses of corporations. As I thought about it I could not help but think of a Chomsky quote,” If you don’t believe in freedom of speech for people you despise, then you dont believe in freedom of speech.” Also as I began to research more into the issue I realized that by restricting the speech rights of corporations, which are not all for profit, I was setting precedent to restrict my speech rights as an individual. The original intent of the law that was overturned was also quite racist. In a recent article in the New York Times Judge Tomas goes on to say, …”Congressional regulation of corporate involvement in politics had a dark side, pointing to the Tillman Act, which banned corporate contributions to federal candidates in 1907.

    “Go back and read why Tillman introduced that legislation,” Justice Thomas said, referring to Senator Benjamin Tillman. “Tillman was from South Carolina, and as I hear the story he was concerned that the corporations, Republican corporations, were favorable toward blacks and he felt that there was a need to regulate them.”

    It is thus a mistake, the justice said, to applaud the regulation of corporate speech as “some sort of beatific action….”

    My speech and expression of it is protected, wether I choose to speak as an individual, or to express that within a group or corporation of like minded individuals which is protected under my right to association.

    Will there be abuses? I am sure there will be. But, just as I am not prepared to give up my liberties for a false sense of security, I am not prepared to give up mine, or anyone elses freedom of speech rights for fear of corporate abuses. More speech not less is what is needed. Afterall we are just as free to form a corporation and pull our resources to counter what we believe to be opposite our views.


    • Well,
      If you consider the Constitution to be worth the paper that it’s written on, then there would have to be a Constitutional amendment to say that corporations are protected by free speech. There was absolutely no intent by the founders to give corporations any such rights. Fortunately for you the Supremes just acted like there had been such an amendment and now those of us who are opposed to this ruling will have to pursue one.

  4. Pingback: Supreme Court’s Gift to Corporations: The U.S. Military by Cameron Salisbury « Dandelion Salad

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