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by Sean Fenley
Featured Writer
Dandelion Salad
The Anything and Everything
May 12, 2010
Reports are cascading in today, via the newswires, that George W. Bush has reputedly continued unabated in his perpetual free fall upward. A multitude of news outlets have apparently reported that Bush’s wife Laura, told a local news publication, that he had now bankrupted their palatial estate. Fresh off bankrupting the most powerful nation on the planet, George W. Bush has plummeted and plundered the resources of his eminently cosy Northern Texas home. What can one say, except that the man is less than a virtuoso with general competency, and in particular budgetary acumen and sophistication!
Mrs. Laura Bush, talking to a handful of reporters on the scene, recounted that George W. had been busy monitoring the day to day activities of a particular ‘troublesome’ former associate, who W. said had violated numerous city codes and ordinances; all the while that W. was spending money like a drunken sailor, frittering away funds to assuage his drug and alcohol dependencies, and registering small time bets on the ponies. W.’s myopic obsession with his neighbor transfixed him, who he said, “he was talking to a higher father, and some rock stars” about dealing with “once and for all”. Neighbors and friends say he was close to talking to the portraits on the wall, as Richard Nixon was said to have done, as a consequence of the Watergate affair.
W. had apparently received a tip that the neighbor — he had targeted to kill — was lunching at a restaurant in Arlington, when he seized the opportunity to make a Blitzkrieg-like assault. W. was not known to have had access to any bunker busters or MOAB’s to have smoked out, his erstwhile rival — who W. had said made disparaging remarks about his Daddy. Investigators were delving into the matter, to clear up any rumor and innuendo that might be stoking the conspiratorial fires about this dour, eminently disturbing, and deeply unsettling course of events. Moreover, the whereabouts of W.’s neighbor are said to be unknown; currently, and the Texas State Police, and federal officials, are said to still be vehemently searching for the man, in the scraggly wilds of the rural Northern Texas brush.
Dick Terwilliger, an oil man himself and George W. Bush trusted confidant and colleague, said the funny thing about his neighbor, was that he didn’t even a share a cul-de-sac with the George W. Bushes. The gentleman’s home was many, many cul-de-sacs over from where the Bushes was. “It was the comments about W’s daddy, that really did it to ‘em,” according to Terwilliger. “That and the cul-de-sac in question was said to be much plusher than George W. Bush’s, much richer in its natural resources and intrinsic wealth,” added Dick. The rumor was that Bush was looking to smoke, the man and his family, out of their domicile; then Bush and Lor would invade the estate, de facto, executing a ‘regime change’ on the man, his family and their idyllic home.
After her husband was hauled off in ankle chains by the local SWAT team and police officials; Laura Bush was quoted as saying, that virtually all of W.’s time, attention and activities, had gone to his obsessions, personal vendettas and plurality of vices. “He wasn’t clearing brush, strutting around the property like an urban cowboy, or rolling in the mud with his dogs like he used to,” noted Mrs. Bush. The former First Lady elaborated, saying, “He was spending all of his time on escapades that would take his attention away from the family home.”
Mrs. Bush or any sane person had been powerless to stop him — George W. — who seemed unwavering, and near single-minded in his determination to drive their residence, and nearly all of its assets deeply into the mud. When confronted about his myriad of problems, and the shirking of his financial responsibilities; the MBA president would usually just utter a smart alecky comment — and smirk like he knew exactly what he was talking about — or direct his interlocutor to speak about it with his longtime associate, and Machiavellian consigliere Karl Rove.
The local chapter of the ‘insurgent’ Tea Party, seemingly didn’t notice at all/whatsoever, the erstwhile president’s machinations and day-to-day travails. They were busy blaming that “Democrat [sic]” congress, and the colored socialist feller from Huh-Y-yuh, for all of the nation’s ills. They didn’t even seem capable of putting two and two together that a former dropout of the Texas Air National Guard ‘champagne brigade’, and unelected resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue; if he could not even keep his own personal finances together, what did they think that he was doing as our 43rd commander-in-chief?
The regional Tea Party spokeswoman Rita Merriwether, offered up her opinion on the matter, stating, “That to focus on the 43rd president was a mistake, because what the 44th president was doing was the only thing that was of any serious consequence now.” Merriwether continued with her ‘incisive’ commentary saying, “We at the astro-turfing operation Freedomworks er the Tea Party, don’t really care if Bush had been president for eight months or eight minutes [a reporter on the scene told her it had been for all of eight long years], just like we blamed Clinton fer that nine-eleven debacle; we’re going to blame this hur non-white or Christian fella, that the Hollywood liberals put up thar fer president!” Merriwether in summation, stated, “Not that he’s my president or yer president, he’s Kenya’s president, he’s the president fer the terrorist Moslems!”
At this time it is not known, if the former president, who said he hadn’t traveled much prior to attaining high office; would be jettisoning off to the land that he purchased, in Paraguay, while he was still President of the United States. Considering that he had maxed out his credit cards, and was in gambling debt to loan sharks all over North Texas, however, he was expected to at least flee to the safer confines of the Bush compound in Kennebunkport — where his family, of course, really hailed from (New England).
The Bush clan had relocated to the greener pastures of North Texas, long ago, to take advantage of the oil wealth, and ascend as a ‘royal’ family in the politics of the United States. Truthfully, they probably had little interest in New England, Texas, or the United States of America in toto. In all likelihood, they have basically been in this country to plunder the resources, while feathering their own nest; only to move on to some other location, and to start the process over — in perpetuity — again and again.
The story above is a satire or parody, it is entirely fictitious.
Sean Fenley is an independent progressive who would like to see some sanity brought to the creation and implementation of current, and future U.S. military, economic, foreign and domestic policies. He has been published by a number of websites, and publications throughout the alternative media.
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