Obama’s 2012 Platform: “They Made Me Do It!” by Sibel Edmonds

by Sibel Edmonds
Featured Writer
Dandelion Salad
originally published by Boiling Frogs Post
29 October, 2010

The Obama Campaign team has finalized its core message and marketing platform for the 2012 presidential elections. After several months of intense debate and ‘market research,’ the Obama Presidency ‘marketing executives’ have put together yet another simple and short ‘market catch phrase’ which may be proved brilliant, depending upon the degree of IQ decline and level of backbone reduction among its Democratic Base. And, no; the catch phrase is not ‘change.’ The new marketing makeover will be centered on the ‘They made me do it!’ message.

According to one of my inside sources, who did not wish to be named in this article for the fear of losing her/his ‘insider’ title and becoming a total outsider, an absolute ‘no no’ inside the Capital Beltway:

‘We must give credit where credit is due, and in this case credit for the platform message goes to the President’s die hard supporters, who have refused to give up on their president, and this despite the fact that everything changed on changes promised to them. We never expected this level of blind loyalty, and I must tell you, the president is riveted and hopeful…counting on this core base to hand him his next term. In a way, the bond between the two, the president and his die hard supporters, is like the marriage vow ‘in good days and in bad…’ except in this case it is even stronger ‘in bad days and in more bad days… and in even worse days…’

During the first year of the Obama presidency his marketing executives were seriously considering a different platform based on a completely different message. Based on their research, all the president’s drastic changes on his promised changes were being justified and excused by the ‘too soon and not enough time to make real changes,’ argument. They rationalized; why not use that as a platform during the next presidential campaign?!

A few Obama team marketing executives gave this proposal serious consideration, while others voiced their doubt on its marketability. The question was – would it be that easy to sell Americans on a core message that said: ‘It always has to get worse before it gets better, and the worst part took four years. I smell the change nearing and I promise you the best four years…if you only elect me again.’

The proponents of the ‘Four Years Is Not Enough to Judge My Presidency’ platform argued that based on history it indeed would sell. After all, the same ‘wanna-be-believers’ had totally disregarded Obama’s actual record prior to his candidacy, and despite all contradictions they‘d fallen for him, so why not this time? The opponents found the notion to be a bit too risky to gamble on, and they pointed to unpredictable factors such as an ‘increase in fatty fish consumption during the next four years, thus a significant increase in brain activity and logical reasoning ability among voters.’ In the end no decision was reached, and the proposal was placed in a ‘possible’ marketing platform folder.

The inspiration for now the finalized 2012 Presidency Platform came from the hard-core Obama supporters who have been consistent in shifting the blame from Obama, their choice of candidate and president, to various figureheads.

By 2010 the ‘too soon to judge him now’ crowd began switching to a new position based on ‘blame transfer & whine’. Die-hard supporters started to portray their president as a ‘victim.’ They chose the miserably failing war policies of Obama as a battle ground, where Obama the victim was constantly beaten by the big bad generals who kept making him do all the bad things based on even worse strategies. The evil generals were behind all Obama’s failed strategies and policies when it came to Afghanistan. So what if those generals were handpicked by Obama and kept in position by him? So what if Obama happened to be Commander in Chief and these evil generals’ ultimate boss? Inconvenient realities and details like that were discarded and poo pooed by these supporters; and with the mainstream media and the Woodward(s) of the propaganda machine as collaborators why would logical points like that matter anyway?

The brilliant Obama marketing team knew it the moment this ‘blame & whine’ shift started. They had found their magic potion for 2012. They would take it from here and turn this into a major campaign blitz. They would make Obama’s disastrous presidential record irrelevant, since none of it had anything to do with him. ‘They made him do it; all of it!’

The ‘They Made Me Do It!’ campaign preparation and packaging has now neared completion. Of course, with two more years to go, it is still a work in progress and there will be additional points and complementary strategies. However, for a man famous for reinventing himself frequently and possessing a salesmanship knack that has been the envy of accomplished snake oil salesmen everywhere, it is never too early to start. He has already begun working with his bosses on the base speech to be used and modified for selected communities and audience groups.

The following is believed to be President Obama’s draft speech for his 2012 campaign platform – its authenticity is left to the readers:

My Fellow Citizens:

I stand here today still humbled by the trust you bestowed upon me four years ago, and shamed by the betrayal I’ve spent four years inflicting upon you. You put your confidence in me while I spent my entire presidential tenure letting you down. You placed upon me your hopes, and I took it upon myself to take them away one-by-one, and quite speedily if I may add. You gave me your votes, and I gave you only words in return and the opposite in actions. I know my record. I know all the changes I made to the changes I’d promised you. You see, I may not be a lot of things but I am still a man; at least last time I checked I was told that I was. And as the man who they say I am, it is my responsibility to tell you why. To show you the changed man I am today, after these four years in office, I am going to go ahead and say it: my presidency has been disastrous. I know you want to know why, and I have one sentence, just one sentence for you which sums it all up: ‘They Made Me Do It!

I, Barack Obama, told you that I opposed the Bush Administration’s policy on warrantless wiretaps because it crossed the line between protecting our national security and eroding the civil liberties of American citizens, and I promised to change all that. I did not deliver on that promise, and I continued my predecessor’s unlawful practices in this area. And you want to know why? They Made Me Do it!

I, Barrack Obama, strongly criticized the Bush Administration’s use of excessive secrecy and their repeated invocation of State Secrets Privilege, and characterized those practices as worst cases of abuse of power. I promised you to put an end to those practices. I didn’t keep that promise, in fact I went on invoking the privilege even more frequently that my predecessor. Here is why: They Made Me Do It!

I, Barrack Obama, gave you my word on having all my negotiations around a big table, televised on C-SPAN, so that people can see who is making arguments on behalf of their constituents and who is making arguments on behalf of the drug companies or the insurance companies. I went against my word, and I went all the way down that path. I made almost all my sessions and meetings secret, not only on national security matters, but everything else, including the negotiations on my quasi health care reform. I’ll give you one reason as to why: They Made Me Do It!

I, Barrack Obama, stood before you and made a clear and simple promise on Guantanamo and restoring habeas corpus to be promptly fulfilled within a year, and here is my verbatim quote: “As President, I will close Guantanamo, reject the Military Commissions Act and adhere to the Geneva Conventions. Our Constitution and our Uniform Code of Military Justice provide a framework for dealing with the terrorists.” We all know my record on that promise; don’t we? I betrayed you shamelessly by refusing to restore habeas corpus rights, and by continuing and expanding the indefinite detention programs. You want a straight answer as to why, and I have that answer for you right here, right now: They Made Me Do It!

I, Barrack Obama, have extended our troops engagement in a true quagmire in Afghanistan, and I have expanded our wars into Pakistan, Yemen, and beyond. In short, I have exceeded even the hawkish previous administration when it comes to wars and benefiting the war profiteers. By now you must all know and believe that this was due to ‘them,’ – They Made Me Do It!

[97 additional cases of my major changes on promised changes to be added]

I can go on and on and on and tell you about so many other cases, but my answer will not change, not a bit. They Made Me Do It!

You want to know who these ‘they’ are. You wonder why ‘they’ should have so much power over me. And I want to tell you, it does not, and should not, matter. Whether some of these ‘they’ are my subordinates or my real bosses is not an area I want to waste time getting into. Some questions are much better left unanswered. You must trust me on this. Stop looking back. Instead I am asking you to look forward. I am asking to give me another chance with another four-year round to see whether I can change the changes I made to the changes I’d promised you first time around. If you can’t find it in your heart to do it that way, think of it this way: The other candidate may be, can be, even worse than me. I know for some of you it is hard to imagine a scenario worse than what you got with me. And this is where I am today, asking you for a change: Change what you elected me to change in the first place, and that change will change us all. Now that is a change I can promise.

Between now and November 2012 I will try to keep you informed on significant developments and updates in this area.


Graphic: Cost of the Afghanistan War

The Empire and the Right to Life of Human Beings by Fidel Castro Ruz

The World Liberal Opportunists Made by Chris Hedges

Tony Hall: Global Capitalism and Imperialism, interviewed by Peter B. Collins and Sibel Edmonds

Why I Loathe The Democrats by Philip A. Farruggio

Power, Illusion, and America’s Last Taboo by John Pilger

Buying Brand Obama by Chris Hedges

7 thoughts on “Obama’s 2012 Platform: “They Made Me Do It!” by Sibel Edmonds

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  3. Absolutely perfect, and I intend to share this the day after the elections as part of my campaign to dump Obama in 2012. Thanks.

    • In this satirical piece, Obama doesn’t mean “the people” as the “they” who made him do it. The “they” could mean the Military Industrial Complex; the pentagon; corporations; Wall St.; Insurance and Pharmaceutical companies; etc.

  4. Indeed … and look to Obama to mimic Clinton and use this opportunity to pass Social Security and Medicare cuts, sign more free trade agreements and increase defense spending …

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