Socrates Meets Hillary Clinton by Rocket Kirchner

Hillary Clinton - Caricature

Image by DonkeyHotey via Flickr

by Rocket Kirchner
Writer, Dandelion Salad
Rocket Kirchner (blog)
Rocket Kirchner (youtube channel)
December 27, 2015

Socrates: Excuse me, Mrs.Clinton. I know that I am not dressed properly to meet you, but I was so intrigued by your enthusiastic speech today that I just had to.

Clinton: Nonsense. There are no dress codes at my rallies. It is nice to meet you.

Socrates: Thank you. This is very refreshing because at the other Christian fundamentalist rallies they would not let me even talk to their candidates because of what they called my unkept appearance.

Clinton: What do you mean by the other Christian fundamentalists?

Socrates: Well, you being a Christian fundamentalist, I just assumed.

Clinton: Whoa, hold it just a minute. I am not a Christian fundamentalist.

Socrates: You aren’t? Then I am confused. Today you read from the Bible so passionately that it reminded me of a Mike Huckabee rally.

Clinton: Let me clarify. I used the Bible to try and illustrate a point.

Socrates: And what point was that?

Clinton: That we all have hope, for this is the day that the Lord has made.

Socrates: That’s funny because that was the exact verse that Mr. Huckabee used. How do you and him differ?

Clinton: Well, I am not a fundamentalist.

Socrates: You didn’t answer my question. How do you and him differ?

Clinton: Our policies are different.

Socrates: But both of you quote from the same book.

Clinton: Who are you anyway?

Socrates: I am Socrates. I am a Pagan. I hope that those of you who quote your Bible that are Christian fundamentalists don’t reject us Pagans.

Clinton: I am not a Christian fundamentalist!!!

Socrates: Well, you were today. Is this because you sought to appeal to the fundamentalists in order to get their votes so you just acted like one?

Clinton: Uh well, not exactly.

Socrates: Then which is it? Either you are one of them or you were play acting. Which is it?

Clinton: Neither.

Socrates: Neither is not an answer but the evasion of an answer. Tell me this, does your God of the Bible teach you virtue just as our philosophers did?

Clinton: Of course.

Socrates: Then there can be no virtue where there is evasion, and no evasion if truth is being presented. The opposite of the truth is a lie. True or False?

Clinton: True.

Socrates: You can’t believe in something that is falsifiable? True or false?

Clinton: True.

Socrates: And yet you quote from a book you believe to be true. True or false?

Clinton: True.

Socrates: Given this line of reasoning, can you quote the truth as you believe it embodied in the Bible in such a way as to be false yet not falsifiable?

Clinton: I don’t follow you.

Socrates: Can you quote this truth that you believe in the Bible for personal gain, even though it contains truth, your motive and results from quoting it makes the presentation false, but not falsifiable?

Clinton: I guess so.

Socrates: Evasion. Yes or no?

Clinton: I don’t know.

Socrates: Just what was your motive in quoting the Bible at a political rally today if you are not a Christian fundamentalist?

Clinton: My motive?

Socrates: Be very careful how you answer, Mrs. Clinton, for we are dealing with matters of truth, even by what you claim that book to contain.

Clinton: I try and relate to my audience.

Socrates: Is that all that truth and Eternal Verities mean to you?

Clinton: No, no !

Socrates: Yes, yes! You are evading my questions and have employed the terminology of the Bible which is a fraudulent misrepresentation of the very truth that you say it contains.

Clinton: I could not disagree more!

Socrates: That is because you have nothing left to disagree with, because you have nothing but a true story based on a true story based on a lie, because you presented a truism in the spirit of a lie in order to deceive voters to vote for you. Shame on you. I bid you a good day.

from the archives:

Socrates meets Donald Trump by Rocket Kirchner

Socrates meets Bernie Sanders by Rocket Kirchner

Rev. Chris Hedges and Rev. David Bullock: Christmas, Charity and the Revolutionary Jesus

American Christianity Versus Jesus by Rocket Kirchner


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