On Being Indicted For Lying About Receiving Gifts, Senator Stevens Says: I Thought We Legalized Bribes

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 29, 2008

WASHINGTON – Longtime Republican Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska was indicted today for failing to disclose that he received gifts worth $250,000 from an energy company on whose behalf he intervened in Congress. Steven said he was surprised by the indictment saying, “I was sure we made it legal for those of us in Congress to take gifts and money from people we wanted to help out with our votes.”

Stevens is accused of lying on his Senate disclosure form by failing to disclose that he had received over $250,000 in gifts and services from Veco, an Alaskan oil company. Most of the gifts were in the form of renovations to Stevens home.

Senator John Warner, a Virginia Republican said, “Stevens is a true American who wanted to help the oil company which could help with our energy crisis. What’s wrong with that?”

“If Stevens loses his ability to vote in Congress, it will be a big disaster for the bridge construction industry,” said Wayne Strong, of KBR Construction. Strong was referring to Stevens’ support of a $400 million dollar bridge to Gavinia Island in Alaska, a project that became known as the “Bridge to Nowhere.”

At first, Stevens denied that there were any improvements in his home by saying all he noticed that it looked a little cleaner. However, he finally admitted there was extensive work done which was paid for by Veco. Stevens, who is 84 years-old, is the oldest Republican in the Senate. “We are losing our American Values,” Stevens said, “just how socialist have we become when you can’t even take a fair and square bribe?”

see

YOU ARE Qualified to Run for Congress (video)

NOW: Oil, Politics and Bribes (video)

CREW Releases Third Annual Most Corrupt Members Of Congress Report

Olbermann: FBI & IRS Raid Home of Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) (video)

FBI & IRS Raid Home of Sen. Ted Stevens (video)

TPMtv: Rep. Don Young’s Plot Against the Constitution (video)

Bill Moyers Journal: Why Earmarks Matter by Ryan Alexander

With Success Of His German Restaurant Speech, McCain Will Unveil His Immigration Policy At Taco Bell

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 29, 2008

NEW MILFORD, Connecticut – Flush from his well received speech about his European policy at a German restaurant in Columbus, Ohio, Senator John McCain will unveil his latest immigration policy at a Taco Bell in this western Connecticut town.

“John will show he is a man of the people,” said Rick Davis, a senior member of the McCain campaign, “unlike Obama who will talk about coddling illegal immigrants when he speaks to thousands, John will be doing essentially a one-on-one with customers who come for a Gordita or new cheese roll-up.” McCain strategists note that while many in Obama’s audience will be illegal aliens, McCain will be speaking to real American citizens only, as illegal aliens wouldn’t be caught dead eating Taco Bell food.

McCain’s “What America Eats and What’s Eating America” tour will then move to the Golden Palace Chinese Restaurant in Decatur, Illinois where the Arizona Senator will talk about his proposed trade policies with China. He will then unveil his plan to bomb Iran at Kasra, a Persian Restaurant in Richardson, Texas. “While the kitchen will be preparing me a Zereshk Polo with Chicken,” McCain said, “I’ll be preparing a few daisy cutters for their countrymen.”

McCain will discuss his Southern Strategy at a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Tuscaloosa, Alabama and his energy policy on alternative fuels at The Greasy Spoon Restaurant in San Diego. “Eat your heart out Obama, I’m taking a bite out of your lead in the polls,” McCain said from a Long John Silvers in Joplin, Missouri. “Obama will be wasting his time talking about world relations at the United Nations,” McCain said, “but, my friends, I’ll be straight talking to you, about America’s place in the world right here at this International House of Pancakes in beautiful downtown Sheboygan, Wisconsin.

McCain Challenges Obama To A Duel

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 28, 2008

PHOENIX – As part of his stepped up campaign against Barack Obama, John McCain announced that he challenged the Illinois Senator to a duel. “Back in my day that’s what you did,” McCain said. “So in my quest to bring back traditional American values, I have done the honorable thing and made this manly challenge to my opponent. I’ll even let him choose the weapon.”

“We think that McCain with his military experience is ready on day one for this duel,” said Rick Davis, McCain Senior Campaign Manager. “I think it’s going to be quite unfortunate for Obama as he has been so consumed with his quest for peace that he has probably never used a weapon.”

“I am getting me a front row seat in the front,” said President Bush, “I want to see just how far Obama’s kumbayas will get him against an angry McCain who can really go off like firecrackers on Labor Day.”

Pundits originally predicted that Obama would turn down the duel, however, Obama announced that he will accept the challenge. “We are surprised as we thought Obama would reject the duel, said Karl Rove, “and then we would have attacked him relentlessly over his lack of manhood.”

“Since I have a choice of weapon,” Obama said, “the weapon I choose will be intellect and the duel will be the debates.”

The Post Times Sun Dispatch attempted to contact Senator McCain to get his comments on Obama’s acceptance, but was told by a McCain spokesperson that the Arizona Senator would be unavailable for comment. Apparently when McCain learned of Obama’s choice of weapon, he flew into rage and destroyed a hotel room with a cache of military weapons.

McCain To Counter Massive Obama Press Coverage By Announcing The End Of The World

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 24, 2008

WILKES BARRE, Pennsylvania – After months of frustration about what they see is an unfair and fawning media coverage of Barack Obama, John McCain’s campaign went on the offensive by announcing that not only will McCain be making an announcement of his Vice Presidential choice on Friday, but he will follow it by announcing Barack Obama’s VP choice. “And he will follow up those blockbuster announcements,” said McCain advisor Mark Salter, “by stating that the world is coming to an end. If that doesn’t interrupt the media from kissing Obama’s fanny and pay attention to John, I don’t know what will.”

“You didn’t see the press follow McCain around Baghdad as he was protected by the hundreds of armed troops and fully loaded helicopters saying Baghdad was as safe as Phoenix,” said Brad Hoffman, a McCain spokesman. “But when Obama talks about plans for peace and stability in the region it’s like we are witnessing a be-in from the 60s and you would have thought the press was covering the marriage between Michael Jackson and Paris Hilton. I mean, since when is it news for Americans to be loved by foreigners instead of hated and feared?”

The new McCain campaign strategy, called “Hey, Look Over Here!” is a new concerted effort to win back McCain’s original base, the press. “They used to love him,” said Rick Davis of the McCain campaign, “but now we have to practically hit them over the head to get them interested. I mean how many gaffes, fired advisors and comments about Americans being a country of whiners do we have to have to get noticed around here.”

News anchors for the major networks were contacted by the Post Times Sun Dispatch to comment on the new strategy by John McCain to get their attention. Only one responded, Brian Williams of NBC who said, “John who?”

While Obama’s Away, McCain Discovers The Internet, Fire & The Wheel

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 23, 2008

PHOENIX – Taking advantage of the absence of Barack Obama, who is on a tour of the Middle East, presumptive GOP Presidential candidate John McCain is wasting no time making his own headlines back home. “Frankly, John needed this uninterrupted time to catch up on a few things,” said McCain spokesman Ron Duff.

In addition to the highly publicized story that McCain had taken his first visit to the internet, the Post Time Sun Dispatch has learned that the Arizona Senator has tried his hand at a video game. “That pong is sure a fast paced game,” said an out of breath McCain. “That was almost as fascinating as when I rubbed two sticks together yesterday and got some smoke and eventually a jumping bit of light that gave off heat. My aids called it fire.”

McCain also marveled at how easy it was to move objects or travel from place to place if you employed large round objects. “Ha, ha,” McCain said, “I’m gonna be a big wheel someday.” McCain plans to end the week with a whirlwind trip to Colorado, a key swing state,where he will visit Dinosaur National Park and then go to Denver where he will buy himself a Fossil watch.

Bush Administration Guidelines: Top Ten Indicators You Are A Terrorist

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 22, 2008

WASHINGTON – The Post Times Sun Dispatch has obtained official classified documents that are currently being used by the Bush Administration to determine who should be classified as terrorist. The documents issued by the Office of Homeland Security list 543 different indicators that a person is an enemy combatant and subject to immediate detention.

The top ten indicators, according to the list are:

1. Believing that peace is preferable to war. Extra problems if you ever sang along to “Peace Train” by Cat Stevens.

2. Ever having a bad thought about Dick Cheney, special attention should be paid to anyone who sees any similarity between Cheney and Darth Vader

3. Believing that impeachment should be on the table and not swept under the rug

4. Saying “nu-cle-ar” in stead of “nu-cue-ler”

5. Thinking that Bush is capable of making a mistake and may even have made one

6. Not wearing a flag lapel pin at all times

7. Not laughing when McCain sings “bomb, bomb, bomb, Iran”

8. Thinking 24 is a TV drama and not a documentary and that Jack Bauer is a fictional character and not a real life hero

9. Opposing drilling for oil anywhere at anytime

10. Having Hussein as a middle name

11. Anyone thinking the Bill of Rights pertains to them

12. Anyone who has evolved enough to reject creationism as science

(note: there are twelve indicators listed because President Bush told Homeland Security Director, Michael Chertoff, “I want you to list the top ten bad guy reasons they are terrorists, you know list me a dozen.”)

The memo, entitled “If In Doubt, Weed Them Out” instructs agents and law enforcement officials to round up anyone who might fit the terrorist profile. The terrorist list also includes investigative reporters who make documents like this list public. The reporter who leaked this story under condition of remaining anonymous, responded by citing that the First Amendment guarantees free speech and a free press. “That puts him on the list right there,” said an unnamed Homeland Security official.

see

Gitmo ‘Justice’ for US Citizens? By Robert Parry

COINTELPRO Comes to My Town: My First-Hand Experience With Government Spies by Dave Zirin

Kucinich to Investigate Police Surveillance of Peace Groups

U.S. terrorism watch list tops 1 million

Conditioning for the Police State – the American War At Home

Nelson Mandela removed from terrorist watch list; Jesus may soon follow

The FBI’s Plan to ‘Profile’ Muslims By Juan Cole

Police State

Homeland Security

Obama’s posse headed for Middle East; McCain furious

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 19, 2008

BAGHDAD, Iraq – The capital of this war torn country is getting ready for the big event, the arrival of Barack Obama and his ever growing Posse, which now includes the news anchors from the major television networks.

“Dis tour gonna outdo anything I done,” said rapper Kanye West.

“Forget the east coast rappers versus the west coast rappers,” said record mogul Sean “Puffy” Combs, “the no coast rappers from the Midwest, like Obama is hittin’ everybody upside the head.”

“The bias of the liberal media is astounding,” said John McCain at a rally in Flint, Michigan. “All the reporters are hovering around Obama like he is something shiny and new and all about hope and change instead of coming here to cover me as I tell bad jokes to these out of work auto workers and explain to them that I don’t know anything about the economy. I would just like to get my hands on the idiot who gave Obama the idea to go to Iraq. Why, I’d punch him in the…ooops, I told him to go to Iraq.”

When asked why she was leaving New York to go to the middle east to cover Obama, CBS anchor Katie Couric said, “I want to be there in case they need someone perky, you know, for the video.” Obama’s historic journey to the Middle East is expected to get wall to wall news coverage, except for Fox New, who will continue to run footage of Reverend Wright saying “god-damn America.”

see

US & Iraq Agree To Set Vague Goals On Hopeful Drawndown Of US Troops Perhaps In Some Kind Of Future

Obama outlines policy of endless war + Obama’s Speech

Countdown: McCain Leaking Obama’s Travel Plans + Goals vs Timelines In Iraq

US & Iraq Agree To Set Vague Goals On Hopeful Drawndown Of US Troops Perhaps In Some Kind Of Future

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 19, 2008

WASHINGTON – President George W. Bush and Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki have agreed to set a “time horizon” for reducing U.S. forces in Iraq. “This is not a timetable or timeline for unsurging our troops,” said Bush. “It is a time horizon, like horizon wireless where you have a minutes limit but you can go over it if you need to.”

After citing a decrease in violence in Iraq in the last month, Maliki had expressed a strong desire to set a time table for US troops to leave and allow his government to take over. “I was insisting on letting us run our own country,” Maliki said, “but I got, how you say, an offer I could not be refusing from the esteemed Vice President Cheney.”

“We did have a little face off after we went hunting for some common ground,” Cheney said, “of course, it wasn’t going to be my face off.”

In a secure video shown on Youtube, Myspace and Facebook, Bush and Maliki agreed that there could be discussions of reducing the number of US troops when, as Bush stated, “the propaganda has succeeded in telling us that we no longer need such a large troop surgery over there.”

“There will be no arbitrary time set for removal of US troops,” said Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino. “Any troops will be removed only when the decider decides.”

see

Obama outlines policy of endless war + Obama’s Speech

Countdown: McCain Leaking Obama’s Travel Plans + Goals vs Timelines In Iraq

Memo to Obama, McCain: No One Wins in a War By Howard Zinn

Bush: Talking with Iran not appeasement, step toward invasion

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 18, 2008

WASHINGTON – The Bush Administration has come under fire for planning talks with Iran after stating that such a meeting was like appeasing the Nazis before World War II. “Those folks who see this as an apeasication are erroneously wrong,” said President Bush, “The people who we are trying to apeasify are the liberal press who say we should talk first before we shock and awe them, so it is our domesticated criticizers for who we will perform this appeasiotomy.”

“The Bush Administration is giving these talks every opportunity to succeed” said Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino, “so we’re sending John Bolton and Hulk Hogan to talk some sense into the Iranians.” When asked why she would not join the discussion, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said, “what would be the point? They don’t make very good shoes over there.”

Presumed Republican Presidential candidate John McCain, who has scoffed at talking with Iran, said, “talk is cheap, I wish gas prices were. That’s a little joke,” he told a suddenly silent crowd in Colorado Springs, “Look, my friends, what I mean is why bother to have a conversation with them when our bombs will be doing the talking in Iran for at least a hundred years.”

“By staging these talks first,” said Vice President Dick Cheney, “we will always be able to say, we tried before they died.”

Topics that Bush says will be discussed will be who should have won American Idol, whether Hulk Hogan’s wife is a bitch and how Iran will meet the deadline of next Thursday to name George W. Bush the “Decider for Life.” “Nuclear proliferation was originally on the table,” said a White House spokesperson, “but Nancy Pelosi just yanked back that table saying it now may be needed for impeachment.”

see

Message of peace and friendship to the people of US: Request for the Congress & President

This Weekend: Speak Out Against War on Iran

U.S. Envoy to Meet with Iranians at Nuclear Talks

Speaker Pelosi: Oil, Bush and Impeachment

Iran

McCain Courts Latino Vote: Pero Mis Amigos, Don’t Tell My Immigrant Hating Republican Base

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 16, 2008

ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico – When it comes to Latino voters, Senator John McCain has become an equilibrista or tightrope walker. “I need the damn Hispanic votes,” McCain said, “but the Republican voter base hates Latinos, so if I say anything good about them, I’m screwed.” So far on the campaign trail, McCain has been telling Latino groups he still supports his original position of humane immigration reform, while assuring his Republican base voters that he despises the disease-ridden free loaders who don’t want to learn English.

“We have been concentrating on placing advertising on Spanish radio and TV stations which says John supports their concerns,” said Rick Davis, McCain’s campaign manager, “I call it the no diga a Gringo approach, that is I, John McCain support you, but don’t tell whitey that I want to help you. At the same time, we will pound the traditional media with his new stand on how much he wants to have the illegals sent back to wherever they came from, after they vote for him, of course.”

“It pays to be bilingual and bi-positioned,” McCain said.

“Sounds more like McCain is bipolar,” said Howard Dean Chairman of the Democratic National Committee.

see

RNC 2008 Critical Issues Survey Questionaire

Latest Running Of The Bull In Washington Injures Scores, Wounds Constitution

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 15, 2008

WASHINGTON – In the Annual Running of the Bull, many people were injured as they tried to flee from the bull emanating from the Nation’s Capital. “This is the most bull I’ve ever witnessed,” said Tony Clarendon of Teaneck, New Jersey who was on vacation, “I was admiring the Lincoln Memorial when some bull about the reason we invaded Iraq was to bring them democracy just about knocked me off my feet.”

Clarendon’s tale is not a singular one. “The bull that the surge is working pined me up against a wall,” said Brian Dorsey, a DC resident who was treated for cuts and bruises.

“When all that bull about there being no global warming bore down on me, I thought I was a goner,” said Ralph Diamond of Grayson, New Mexico.

“This bull denying climate change has badly gored the planet,” said former Vice President Al Gore.

While there were hundreds of injuries, the most seriously hurt was the Constitution. “Freedom of the Press took it in the shorts,” said Henry Betancourt, Professor of Media at Columbia University. Also taking direct hits were the Fourth Amendment when the bull from the Bush White House said, “we don’t need no stinkin’ warrants,” and the Sixth Amendment’s guarantee of right to a fair trial, knowing what you are accused of, and right to an attorney got trampled by the massive bull from Guantanimo.

The Running of the Bull dates back to the founding of the District of Columbia but came to prominence in 1973 when Richard Nixon said, “I am not a crook.” The last fatality in the Running of the Bull was The Truth, which died on September 11, 2001.

At Annual Invasion Game, Bush to throw out the first bomb

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 14, 2008

WASHINGTON – It was announced today by the real President, Dick Cheney that George W. Bush will get to throw out the first bomb in the 79th annual Invasion Classic. “It was a toss up,” said Cheney, “between Bush and McCain. McCain was the dark horse, but his singing of ‘Bomb, bomb, bomb Iran’ made this one close. In the end, George showed an unwavering dedication to mayhem and an uncanny ability to not take responsibility if anything should go wrong.”

“I am honored and humbled if I were someone who could be humbled,” Bush said, “to be able to throw out the first bomb for the invasions of Afghanistan, Iraq and now Iran. This certainly makes up for the only mistake I may have made in my life, trading Sammy Sosa to the Cubs.”

Senator Barack Obama has been roundly criticized for saying he never supported this Invasion Game, most attacking him as anti-American. McCain has said that he supports the Game even if it lasts for 100 innings. The Invasion Game is scheduled sometime before the next election, probably as an October Surprise.

see

President Bush Backs Israeli Plan for Strike on Iran

What are Iran’s nuclear rights? + What did A. Q. Khan sell to Iran?

HR 362 and the Alarming Escalation of Hostility Towards Iran

Tomgram: Why Cheney Won’t Take Down Iran

Seymour Hersh: US Training Jondollah and MEK for Bombing preparation

What gives Bush the right to destabilize Iran by covert military operations?

Will the US Congress ratify the Bush Administration’s Decision to launch a War on Iran (H. CON. RES. 362)

Iran

Conservatives say whiner comment has a gramm of truth

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 13, 2008

NEW YORK – Conservative commentators have come out in support of the controversial comments made by top McCain economic advisor Phil Gramm, that the recession was mental and that the US had become a nation of whiners. “Anyone who is negatively effected by this economy,” said Bill O’Reilly, “is effected because they want to be. Me and my friends are doing well, thank you, and no one can dispute the truth that all these naysayers are nothing more than terrorist loving America haters.”

“Gramm is right,” said Rush Limbaugh, “thanks to liberals, Americans complain about all kinds of things that aren’t real. It’s all in their minds that oil prices are high, parents have imagined their sons and daughters have died or were wounded in Iraq and people have illusions that the banks are in a conspiracy to take their homes. These ungrateful feminazis should have real problems like I have,” said Limbaugh, “such as an oxycontin shortage.”

Gramm, a former Texas Senator and currently UBS Investment Bank vice chairman, has been criticized for being out of touch with the American people. “I reject that notion that I am not a man of the people,” Gramm said from his private leer jet, “I stand to lose money too when those whiners who took out mortgages they couldn’t afford lower the stock prices on my personal holdings. Those whiners should have made sure they had the health care and pension that I have after I retired from the Senate. It’s not my fault they chose poverty.”

John McCain, stumping in economically hard hit Michigan, said “I’ll say that I vehemently disagree with Phil’s comments since he got a negative response from the whiners out here, but I need his support because I know nothing about economics, so I’ll keep him on as my economic advisor. Now how is that for straight talk? Oh, I almost forgot. Bomb Iran.”

Candidates weigh in on new Danish cartoon threat

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post

July 12, 2008

WASHINGTON – Senator John McCain said Wednesday that Denmark’s continued testing of anti-American political cartoons shows the need for an effective cartoon defense shield system while rival Senator Barack Obama said we need aggressive diplomacy combined with sanctions, if necessary. For the second day, Denmark has tested several new cartoons, poking fun at the Bush administration and America. “It was OK when the Danes aimed their cartoons at the Islamofascists, but now they have sided with the terrorists and are preparing weapons of mass cartoons against us,” said Wayne Parsons, a Pentagon spokesman.

“We must unite the world against Denmark’s cartoon threat,” McCain said, “even if we have to continue the Cartoon war for a hundred years.”

Obama, who has been criticized for being soft on cartoons by wanting to negotiate with cartoonists, said he will push for an incentive package that seeks to deter Denmark from its cartoon goals.

“There’s something rotten in Denmark,” said Vice President Dick Cheney, “and we may have to go to the dark side, if you will, so that cartooning will be in its final throes.”

Danish Cartoons have become a major campaign issue, however neither candidate voted on a March 2008 resolution calling on the Bush administration to call the Danish Cartoon Guild a terrorist organization, a measure that some members of Congress believed could lead to war.

“We need to take an aggressive stand against this world threat,” said Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, “because would your rather read the cartoons over there or read them over here.”

President Bush said, “I don’t worry about the cartoons so much anymore. I kinda like them cartoons cause they’re easier to read than memos about Bin Laden planning attacks. Now if My Pet Goat had more cartoons I could have read it faster and reaticated to 911 more quicker and had time to use that cod piece in my pants when I bullhorned my way to ground zero to speak to the American people.”

Dems succumb to FISA compromise bill

Satire

Robert

by R J Shulman
Dandelion Salad
featured writer
Robert’s blog post
July 10, 2008

WASHINGTON – Senate Democrats today echoed the action of their party members in the House by voting passage of a controversial intelligence and surveillance bill that grants retroactive immunity to the telecom companies who illegally spied on the American people at the request of the Bush Administration. “We are happy with this compromise,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, “the compromise being that we vote for the bill and the Bush Administration will not reveal our personal secrets to the press.”

The bill will essentially end dozens of active lawsuits brought by private citizens against the telecom companies claiming their Fourth Amendment rights have been violated. Critics have warned that this will effectively sweep under the rug any public airing of the nature of the illegal spying done by Bush on Americans.

“I are pleased the Democrats have come over to the dark side in our valiant fight in the war on terror,” said Vice President Dick Cheney, “even if it means I have to forgo the pleasure of releasing to the press some smokin’ hot pictures of certain Senators.”

“I am happy to vote for this compromise bill,” said Senator Feinstein, “as it balances the need for national security surveillance with the need for privacy, my privacy to be exact.”

“As the candidate of hope and change,” Barack Obama told the Post Times Sun Dispatch, “the only hope I have to be President is for me to change Bush’s mind not to release certain phone calls of mine that would become a 24/7 loop on Fox news. So I voted for the bill.”

I know we had to massage the bill a little to make it palatable for us,” said Democratic National Chairman Howard Dean, “as it is better to massage the legislation than disclose the names of a certain patrons of a massage parlor.”

“I voted for the bill because of the terror alert being raised to red,” said another Democratic Senator, “that is the terror of the disclosure of my dealings in the red light district getting into enemy hands.”

“Senators do the darndest things,” said Karl Rove.

“I sure liked hearing them phone calls and having phone records read to me,” said President Bush, “but the pictures were the best as you know what the Chinese say in Tokyo, a picture is worth a thousand votes.”

see

Countdown: Feingold on the FISA Capitulation + McCain’s Townhall Incident

Nader: Telecoms and Bush Above the Law